I had a dream the other night. I was in one of these gorgeous Beacon Hill townhouses that some of us have had the good fortune of being allowed to poke around in. There was an endless number of floors, lots of light flooding through huge windows of Colonial-era wavy glass. It was peaceful and serene and spotless. They say that when you dream of a house, the house represents yourself. I was vaguely aware of this as I tore around the grand spiral staircase in a panic, trying to find my way out before the home owners discovered me, a stow-away. I was someplace where I did not belong, terrified and out of my element, heart pounding and unable to find the exit from a life I did not belong in.

I am a social worker, specializing in the treatment of psychological trauma and I’ve devoted my professional life to advocating for the underdogs. My husband is an economist, and had a very well-paying job that allowed me to stay home with our daughter. We were blessed with privilege, opportunity, and security.

Our son was born in January of 2010, but three days after he returned to work, my husband’s employer walked into his office and told him that he was being laid off. They read from a script. He was downsized. I could try to describe the crushing fear and betrayal that one feels.  I could try to describe it, but so many already know first-hand.

After the initial shock, we sat down to review our situation, and surprisingly it was pretty good. My husband received a reasonably good severance package. We also had at least 6 months of living expenses, unemployment insurance, and no debt. We had been doing everything we were supposed to. We had been very responsible with our money, and we lived modestly. We thought that he could take some time off to enjoy his three week old baby and two year old daughter. In many ways, that was such a happy year for our family and we are so blessed to have had that time together. After a while, things became increasingly scary. We never would have expected it to be so hard to find work again. A year and a half into this ordeal we had no more savings, and no more unemployment benefits. What we did have was a mortgage, two cars that were no longer road-worthy, student loans gathering interest, and a looming heating bill for our almost 200 year old house.

You start to look around and see everything falling apart; doors falling of hinges, all the dinner plates are cracked, drinking out of mason jars because the glasses are broken. You wonder if you’re going to be Miss Haversham, or Norma Desmond living in your rotting castle dreaming of the past. Sometimes the pressure makes your eyes burn and when you look at your kids, you panic. The future seems less bright every day that goes by, and you feel hope slipping away, and everything becomes a countdown.

We are good people. We work hard and save money and invest in the market. We give to charity and volunteer. We bring casseroles to people when they are sick. We have never carried debt aside from student loans and mortgage. We over pay our bills to get ahead, and drive used cars. We don’t have iPads, or cable. We haven’t taken a vacation in years.

You wish you could afford to be depressed. You start fantasizing about staying in bed all day, asleep until something good happens. Then, the overwhelming guilt washes through you, reminding you how horrible you are for complaining while you still have a home, and you’re upset about not having a reliable car when there are children in refugee camps in the Congo. Depression can be so self-indulgent.

This is what a slow motion unraveling looks like.

It doesn’t matter if you went to a good school, come from a good family. It doesn’t even matter if you’re in good financial shape with no debt and never even got swindled by a big bank. You can be sitting there with all your ducks in a row, heat turned all the way up to 68 and before you know it, one little shift in the universe will send you and the people you love most into a tailspin.  You will be compelled to watch as the ground gets closer and closer. You will feel yourself being discussed. You know people get uncomfortable when you talk about it, and they start to avoid you. I could no longer recognize my life. It’s a terrifying place to be for anyone, and there are a lot of us here right now.

At some point I had to scrape myself off the floor, and start to plan ahead for my family. It took a lot of courage for me to come to the food pantry for help. I was terrified about what the experience would be like, about how people would look at me, what kind of food I would get. I was scared of appearing ungrateful or greedy. I was scared of being judged for being poor, or worse- not poor enough.

I received our first pickup and was overwhelmed by the experience. Thirty-three pounds of fresh, healthy food was provided to us by the Open Door and Greater Boston Food Bank. That food got us though several weeks with some stretching. It was a desperately needed bandage for us at a particularly dark and needy time. One less thing to worry about, which is no small gift when you’re in a place of constant worry. It was a bit of light shining through a crack. I had been kicked around for so long and had come to expect the poor treatment, shame, judgment, and harsh words that had characterized many of our interactions during this period.  I will never forget the staffs kindness and compassion, because seeking that help was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. What a valuable resource for our community, particularly right now when so many families are struggling more than they ever expected to.

If it could happen to me, it could happen to anyone.  The Greater Boston Food Bank is not just there for people who live in abject poverty. It’s for people in transition, who might feel like they don’t recognize their life right now. Many of us wake up one day to find ourselves living in a stranger’s house, desperately seeking a way back to familiar surroundings.

We are the new face of hunger.

On April 25, nearly 450 business and civic leaders and community members came together to raise funds for GBFB’s hunger relief efforts. The $1,000,000 raised will provide 2,360,000 meals to those in need. This year’s event was chaired by Joshua and Amy Boger.

According to Catherine D’Amato, GBFB President & CEO, the generosity of the Boston community will make a real difference to our friends, neighbors and colleagues who worry about feeding themselves and their families. “Our supporters know that food insecurity in Massachusetts hurts people of every age and background.  Through their contributions, our sponsors and guests will help provide nutritious meals to those who might otherwise go hungry.”

The Greater Boston Food Banquet received substantial support from presenting sponsors Amy and Joshua Boger, Event Co-Chairs, Citizens Bank, Roche Bros., Stop & Shop, and Joanna and Nigel Travis, and sustaining sponsors Bank of America, BNY Mellon, Ted, Joel and Randi Cutler, FedEx, Shaw’s, and State Street.

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Due to the current unfolding situation in Boston and surrounding towns, The Greater Boston Food Bank will remain closed today, Friday, April 19, 2013. Please check back for service announcement updates or contact Agency Relations for the status of your order.

For families in this economy, hunger is one lost job or medical bill from becoming a financial reality. Many begin skipping meals, or face trade offs between paying for rent, heat and medical expenses, or purchasing food.  For Thomas, a visitor to Weymouth Council for the Hungry, that reality has arrived.

At one time, Thomas had a steady job working for a real estate management company. Then the economic downturn began, and he lost his job.

Now in his fifties, Thomas has found it challenging to find another full-time job. To make matters worse, medical problems have required Thomas to become a caretaker for his wife and daughter.

“My wife has neurofibromatosis,” he explains. “She has about forty tumors going down her spine. A lot of my time is spent at doctors’ offices, so it’s hard for me to go out for a full time job.”

He also has a daughter with a heart condition.

Thomas struggles to stay afloat. Between endless doctor appointments, overwhelming medical bills, and keeping his part-time job driving for a local auto parts store, Thomas  is overwhelmed.  Making ends meet is an impossible task.

He has struggled to regain any solid footing to support his family.

Thankfully, Thomas is able to rely on GBFB and to help put food on the family’s table. “It helps. It helps big time,” he says.

Thomas finds the fresh produce, milk and canned goods the most helpful–and finds ways to stretch out the food he gets twice a month.

“I don’t know what I’d do without this place! I don’t think I want to know.”

Between the months of April and August 2013, volunteers are needed to help implement the Client Survey portion of the study to be carried out at at select agencies throughout Massachusetts. Volunteers should be:

• Interested in and capable of interacting with vulnerable and diverse populations
• Able to communicate the value of the research study to interviewees
• Respectful to exercise discretion and sensitivity about experiences and hardships that participants may share
• Prepared to participate in training session(s) provided by The Greater Boston Food Bank on April 5th and April 8th
• Willing to pick up materials (e.g. laptops, headphones, surveys) from GBFB and bring them to each agency
• Available to travel to agencies as assigned by the Hunger Study Coordinator between April and August 2013
• Able to identify and approach eligible survey participants, based on training and by following a designated, representative sampling plan
• Able to organize the laptops, computers or tablets with clients and to explain how to use the software
• Able to answer questions and/or troubleshoot issues that may arise while the clients fill out the survey

Volunteering for the 2014 Hunger In America Study:

• Help Feeding America to significantly improve the quality of the information gathered, which will lead to enhanced resources, food, and funds for the agencies in your area
• Can provide a gratifying means to explore and connect with your neighborhood or local communities and with those sharing the responsibility to help end hunger.
• May translate into credit for coursework, such as that involving statistics, research, public policy or contribute toward professional development hours at your workplace

If you are interested in assisting with the Client Survey portion of the Hunger in America 2014 Study, please email Alison Manzella, Hunger Study Coordinator, at amanzella@gbfb.org, specifying your name, email address, and preferred training date: April 5, 2013 or April 8, 2013. Actual client data collection will occur between April to August 2013.

Download the FY14 MEFAP Core Food Bid Contents

Download the FY14 MEFAP Core Food Bid – Utility

Download the FY14 MEFAP Core Food Bid – Retail

Pictured: Mark DeMichaelis, CEO / President – Olivia’s Organics / State Garden, Inc. with his children Olivia, Mark and John.

With March being National Nutrition Month, we want to highlight a GBFB partner that has provided over 133,000 cases of organic produce to help feed those in need.

State Garden, the parent company of Olivia’s Organics, has been a partner of GBFB for more than 10 years. For the past 7 years, they have supported our Kids Cafe program with fresh Olivia’s Organics greens every week, ensuring each child has a nutritious meal. For this, State Garden is a Kids Cafe Hero.

In addition, State Garden makes regular food donations to GBFB, including special deliveries when our resources have been tight.

They are a true local partner, and also support GBFB with cause related marketing efforts, financial donations and volunteers. They were named one of GBFB’s Food Donors of the Year in 2012, and are a member of our Leadership Circle.

From the entire team at GBFB, thank you, State Garden for your continued support!

This year, GBFB and the food bank coalition of Massachusetts are advocating for an additional $3 million to purchase food and provide 3.1 million more meals for those in need in FY 2014. These budget dollars provide food to more than 850 hunger relief agencies across the state.

With sequestration at the federal level, Massachusetts faces cuts to workforce development programs and nutrition programs, making MEFAP an even more critical firewall for residents of the Commonwealth.

The breakfast event was attended by dedicated civic leaders, including City of Boston Mayor, Thomas M. Menino, and State Representatives and State Senators from all over Massachusetts. Personnel from area hunger relief agencies were also in attendance.

To learn more about how you can help advocate for MEFAP, visit GBFB.org/Advocate.